As I sit down to begin writing my weekly kick-off (which I look forward to so, so much!), I'm having a moment of "eek". Not because I had a fabulous weekend filled with love, laughter, family, friends, and maybe just a little wine (thank you all for being a part of my life!). Not because I'm beyond excited to get my butt back down to the beach with my fiercely dedicated troop of FitChickadees first thing Tuesday morning! And, definitely not because I can't keep my granola in stock fast enough for my loyal devourers, and newbie tasters alike to enjoy. (This in itself is a magical dream come true!) Nope, none of those things gave me THIS eek feeling. THIS eek feeling has a life of its own. It's been unraveling inside of me for many years. It's something I've said in many other ways in other posts, but perhaps didn't unlock the eek the way I plan to today. It's much more than a thought, a plan, a dream....for me, the eek is a way of life. And it's about time I let you all in on a little secret of mine.
You see, none of my good fortune has landed in my lap, on a diamond encrusted spoon, smothered in amaretto hand-whipped cream, dolloped with a Godiva-laced truffle, sprinkled with candy rainbows and unicorns. More like a million loaves of blood, sweat and tears. Doused, and doused, and doused again with wetter sweat, and saltier tears. But honestly after the first hundred loaves, who's counting? Point being, none of my hard work to get where I am, would have even gotten past the ideas stage, if I hadn't been ridiculously fearless. And the years of salty water emanating from my body in various forms has been my heart screaming out loud so the whole world can hear me roar, "ALWAYS BE TRUE TO YOURSELF, AND YOU WILL SUCCEED." Strong yet often overlooked words because they're thrown around so loosely, paired with hundreds of other words that don't necessarily deserve the impact of this creed I live by. It's what all other parts of my life follow, being a Mom, being a mentor, being a teacher, being a lover, being a businesswoman, being a friend, being fearlessly ME.
I decided a long time ago, if I was feeling bad about myself, or anything going on in my life that didn't feel right, I'd sit down and have a heart to heart with myself. I wouldn't be afraid to admit my faults and failures to ME. I pinky promised myself to never mislead myself. I would never tell myself wrong is right and right is wrong. I would never look in the mirror and not love who I saw, even if I saw physical "imperfections" they were never flaws. This especially became life-changing when I had my babies and I quickly realized my own self-worth would be exponentially multiplied, absorbed, reflected, by them, and then critiqued, judged (again) and on and on by the mommy slayers. Those "women" who have nothing better to do with their time than count the tick tocks to your impending doom. Time and time again, my secret came in handy. How could I possibly survive the wrath of judgments of divorce, while being a fitness instructor, all while running my business and being an amazing (yes AMAZING!) mom, a single mom, without facing myself through it all? I couldn't. So instead I looked the deepest inside ME I'd ever been, I made life decisions I knew I would stick to no matter what.
Many of you have shared beautiful words of selfless support and passion for my success (I will always be humbled by this), and it is frankly still hard sometimes to see my goals and dreams taking on lives of their own. I still get those feelings of insecurity, followed by floods of butterflies, but now I don't go back to the insecurity. When it shows up I tell it to shut the hell up and move on already. I have my secret and that's all I need!
Spending countless hours on the beach, working with so many of you on your fitness goals, I've gotten to know many of you well. We are friends, we are family. We have different dreams and goals but in the end we are so very much the same. We are all capable of hard work and success. We all deserve to achieve incredible results physically, mentally, emotionally, financially. We have all a ME inside of us waiting to be unleashed, revered, listened to, respected, and secured. I know you probably hear that voice inside you and maybe you listen to it sometimes, or laugh about it, or maybe even completely ignore it. That little voice is YOUR secret. It's YOUR "ME". And it's all yours!
So next time you get that eek feeling, whether it's from excitement, fear, desperation, happiness, whatever!! ....take a few moments to bring out your secret and share your eek with your ME. You'll thank yourself for it, and hopefully you'll share your secret someday too!!